The term “Self-Help” makes me cringe

The term “self-help” makes me cringe.

So much about life is out of your control, and positive thinking your way out of it doesn’t. always. work. Especially when things get so hard that you feel like you’re entitled to your bad mood.  Sometimes I need to be allowed, I deserve to be upset. Positive thinking may work superficially, but in the end, you’re still left with what’s underneath.  Sometimes I can’t help myself, what do I do then? Most of the things that have bettered myself, came from other perspectives outside of my own… or that ever so quiet voice of the Holy Spirit.

Then there’s “self understanding”, uh huh. Right?

Until life starts to make sense, we won’t make sense to ourselves. Life doesn’t usually make sense, at least not while we’re moving forward in it. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a need to understand things about yourself, as long as we realize that those things are always changing. Unless understanding yourself means understanding that you won’t always understand, Ha. God knows, I can be as bipolar as this Missouri weather. “I’m going to give up, I’ve got nothing left to give…no I’m not giving up, don’t let me give up…why is this happening?… Trust the journey”. Sorry husband.  And then, there’s always that blind spot that we all have to ourselves, about ourselves. Things that we’re too close in proximity of ourselves to see. Are we something that we can really understand?

What is it then?

I’d like to call my experience with life more of a discovery. Since we’re always changing, it may be better defined that we all are something to discover. There’s hidden pieces to us all and until we get ourselves into other surroundings & experiences, we don’t fully know what we can grow. There are situations that bring out the great parts of ourselves and there are others that show us a side that we never knew existed. There is always more to discover and learn, really having nothing to do with “self” at all.

STEP OUT, not IN, to discovering what’s all around you. Experiencing more of what’s scary, what’s fun, what’s hard, what’s different. Discover experience and you discover yourself as a byproduct.

Experiencing all that life surrounds me with, I’m almost learning more from the “not knowing” moments than from the parts of life I thought I knew. (Notice how both scenarios equals me not knowing). There are pieces of my discovery so far, that I’m glad what I thought I knew was wrong and pieces where I wished I would have been right.

The only control I have is in whether I stand still in limits or step out into experience. I’ve been able to redefine feelings by looking at things from a perspective outside of myself, which goes beyond thinking positive about a negative situation. It changes the meaning of the situation completely.

Flashing back to SNL’s “Deep Thoughts” by Jack Handey (although lacking the wit), we all are on a path of discovery.  Where you meet people on their paths determine your experience with them and what you can learn about life. I believe there is power in our minds, but it can’t get stronger by looking inside or by thinking it into existence. Our mind gets stronger by stepping outside of ourselves and into the experiences of others. An experience that means something different to each of us, but will always begin and end outside of yourself.

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