Who am I listening to?  Who is shaping my perspective of the life I’m in right now? Our experiences shape our perspectives just as much as the people that we surround ourselves with. I had been taking on their “normal” and their limitations. Our understanding of life comes from the people in our environment. I only started to see this when I started to challenge the perspective that I had been absorbing for years. I had taken on how other people treated me as my truth, my value was their value.  What they said about me was what I said about me. Perspective doesn’t mean that it’s reality, because we unconsciously create that perspective. We get to create that perspective if we make this a conscious effort. If that has all been a lie, than what is the truth?

I didn’t just question my value but my understanding of everything.  Of what I am capable of, of what life is really about? What I once thought was hard isn’t, there’s harder. I am stronger than I thought.  What was once scary isn’t so scary.  What I once thought was perfect in other people isn’t. I compared myself to my perceived “perfection” of others.

I want to create a reality that doesn’t see limits.

I started to add a variety of perspectives that goes into my brain with books, podcasts, motivation stories of people, underdog stories of rise. When the same lies from my previous experiences would come back to me I would make myself replace it with truth, God’s truth, truth from what was possible in other people’s stories. I started to see my “what if’s” as a possibility. My failures as a stepping stone. I’m coming alive. Alive in the possibility, the hope of what I can become. But why? What makes it so possible now when it didn’t seem possible in the previous chapters of my life?

It’s in the stories.  I couldn’t relate to people in their rise, in their mountain top perspectives.  I couldn’t relate to the popular kids, I couldn’t relate to the perfect people at church. I couldn’t relate to the success in people’s lives, in the perfection.  In the people that don’t get divorced. Big dreams and achievements weren’t possible because I related to failure and doubt.

You could tell me all day that I could achieve big things and how great life is on the other side of fear…at the top of that mountain; but until I actually see that it’s possible for myself, I’m not going to do it.

Once I started to see myself in those underdog stories of rise, in the transparent stories of people who create and invented amazing things from failing, then it became possible for me.


I could tell you all my learned insight and successes, but until you see yourself in my story can it become possible for you. That’s when I realized the power in our stories is the becoming ourselves, not in the arriving. Not on the mountain top.

Impact is in the real version of our stories, with all the failures and doubts.  With the struggle and secrets. It’s the story without the mask that connects us all, that motivates us, that gives us hope.

In a world without connection, we need to see ourselves in each other. We need people to meet us in our pain, or in the rut we’re in, before we believe that we can meet them at the top. Don’t be afraid to show your story. Unless our story, our life, has an effect on someone else’s story, then our story is wasted.

We choose who we connect to. I want to connect to the people who defy their absorbed limits. That go beyond their circumstances. I have to feed my brain those possibilities. Control what goes into your mind by who/what you surround yourself with, by the voices that you listen to. Remove yourself from people who live in all the ways you’re trying to escape from. Engulf yourself in stories of  people who can inspire you, who can help you create your perspective of strength. Don’t be influenced by people who back you down from your new direction, unless their life has them in a direction that you admire.

ask yourself

Surround yourself with inspiring stories and people who you see yourself in…that’s when you’ll find the resilience to get out of your own way.  You create you.

Hats off to all the people that have taken the risk of being seen, the courage to be transparent. You help inspire people to do the same, I know you’ve inspired me.

Hats off “to all the ladies in the place with style in grace”… Big Poppa knows.